At several cosmetic counters, i've bought lipsticks and i've bought nail polish. Always armed with a "buying it for my wife" explanation.
The savvy women knew, nevertheless, that whether or not married, i was doing this to become like one of them. That must have sickened them at first to think that what was male was not man, not fully man.
Then that may have filled them with a kind of strength, living up to the role they must now realize was theirs all along. Leader. The primary one.
Having me talk to them, my voice constricted from nervousness and from an inner sense of 'femininity', eventually has to become, for them, enduring proof.
May they always take the lead. May i always be a sign to them.
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